3SUM - Sailing Through Life on 3 Hulls of a Telstar Trimaran

Monday, November 11, 2013

Subject: Affordable Boat Act

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The
Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST
purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These
"affordable" boats will cost an average of
$54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes,
trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees,
fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed,
because until now, typically only wealthy and financially
responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This
new law ensures that every American can now have a
"affordable" boat of their own, because everyone
is entitled to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before
the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free"
life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make
sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of
owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year.
This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that
other people don't want or can't afford to maintain.
But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain
their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the
age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until
they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you
can’t). If you don't want or don't need a
boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to
buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined
$800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert,
ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are
not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor
lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between
the port, starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide
everything, including; when, where, how often and for what
purposes you can use your boat along with how many people
can ride your boat, and determine if one is too old or
healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also
decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you
must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass), or
a newer and more expensive boat. Those who can afford yachts
will be required to do so…it’s only fair. The
government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure
to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat,
they and their families can obtain boats free, at the
expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies
with large political affiliations are also exempt.

Monday, September 9, 2013

100% through Finding Annie by Michael Mathews.

Finding Annie

This is a book about a guy who's wife dies in a car accident. He gets depressed, drinks mass quantities of liquor, buys a 20' Cal sailboat and sails from Oregon to his death. He bumps into a burning sailboat, rescues the baby, the couple go down with the ship. He takes the baby to Hawaii, hooks up with a chick, finds baby inherited a lot of money, marries the hot hawaiian chick and adopts the baby with lots of money.